So, everyone has at least signed up for Tinder or Bumble (or apps alike) at least once in their life. I happen to be one of those people that have had them on and off now for about a year and I can say, I've noticed a lot of downs, and not so many ups. Everyone is trying to "figure it out" all the time, or they aren't trying at all. So to me, it either comes off as bored and uninterested, or trying WAY too hard and its a turn off.
Dating apps are fun because they're a super convenient way of speed dating without the awkward moments of rejection if need be, and you actually don't really have to face anyone. You don't even need to talk to them if you change your mind. Just block, and move on. Super simple. But then there are times where you actually are trying to look for someone genuine, and aren't trying to just hook up with them. But you can't seem to get it right. No one matches with you. And if they do, they won't reply, or they turn out to be someone completely different when you meet them. The problem today as well is your variety is so broad, and the options are so vast that you can be dating 5 different people at the same time and no problem. No real connection with anyone, and you find that you aren't meeting people organically and in person like the old days. But if you're doing online dating right, being open and honest, detailed and transparent, it should be very easy for you to find someone of quality to grow with.
I want to list a few things that I feel men and women might be doing wrong, and you might want to take into consideration if you haven't noticed already. Thats if you want to these apps to work of course.
1. YOU HAVE GROUP PHOTOS
Problem: Theres nothing wrong with having group photos, but if your main profile picture or the mass majority of your pictures are with other people, people aren't going to think twice. Left swipe you go!
Solution: Make it known who you are by posting selfies for the first couple pictures, then maybe one photo of you and a friend. Remember, you have to captivate someones attention in 2.5 seconds or their attention span is shortened, and they become uninterested.
2. YOU HAVE PICTURES WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
Problem: You have to take note that there are people on these apps that you might like, but they don't want to already be seeing you with another person that could pose a threat. Its a bad first impression. So if you're a dude, and you have a picture of a girl kissing your cheek, or sitting on your lap, or a whole group of hotties surrounding you at a nightclub, you are here to impress women. Not your homies. So leave a good first impression and give them a reason to trust you from the jump.
Solution: If you INSIST on posting a photo with another person of the opposite sex, maybe, it would be whom of you to specify who this person is in your bio. (Example: The pretty girl in my photo is my sister. Good genes. Am I right?) Honesty, clarity, and humor all in a few words. Easy to do, and will still get you that right swipe!
3. AHEAD OF THE CURVE: GOING TO SNAPCHAT OR IG BEFORE MATCHING
Problem: Ok. Lets face it. We've all done it. But its just not cool. Why? Well, the point of these dating apps like Tinder and Bumble is to be serendipitous in a way. Let destiny bring you together through an app. But if you're going on and playing Tinder God and Bumble Buzzing yourself into someones DM's before they match with you, then it defeats the purpose. Sure, follow them. But don't jump the gun. Because then if they aren't that into you, its just awkward yo.
Solution: Either wait till you match, OR, follow them on IG, don't swipe right on the dating app and act like IG was your only source of finding them. Theeennnnn slide in the DM. That way you aren't being creepy! (Openly at least. Muahahaha)
4. NO BIO?!
Problem: Dude. Really? I mean.... WHY?! We know nothing about you. And most of the time if they don't have a bio, you won't find a social media link attached. A profile like this screams "IM CREEPY AF. I DONT CARE LOL. I HOPE THIS WORKS BUT IF IT DOESNT WHATEVER. IM THIS LAZY IN REAL LIFE. MY GIRL DOESNT KNOW IM ON HERE. I DONT LOOK ANYTHING LIKE MY PICS." I mean, its speculation but.... Give me a reason to think otherwise maybe?
Solution: Describe yourself in 300 characters or less. Problem fixed.
4. TAKING PICTURES WITH SOMEONE BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU
Problem: Well, this is where the reality comes in that none of us really wants to admit to. But, here it goes. If you're on a dating app, you are judging and BEING judged 99% of the time based on your looks, and its the most shallow method of dating there is. If you don't like what you see, you swipe left immediately. Plain and simple. But if in all reality when you have a picture of yourself next to someone who is at a level 8 and you're a 5, then the person looking at your page is going to feel duped. Like, they thought the better looking one was you, then come to find out, its not.
Solution: You need to know where you stand. If you aren't happy or fully confident with yourself, work out, get a haircut, study some style techniques on how to dress better, the possibilities are limitless. But whatever you do, don't put someone thats going to give you a run for your money next to you on a shallow ass dating app. It never works. If anything, put someone uglier than you. That'll do the trick!
5. YOU PASS THE PHYSICAL, BUT NOT THE MENTAL
Problem: So, yeah you're cute. But you're a fucking asshole. That might get you quantity, but it won't get you quality. Though, on the bright side it might get you an STD! :D I can't imagine women who let a complete idiot fuck them care about themselves very much. You don't just have to be an asshole either. You can be nice, but just be really dry, or too sexually forward. Lets say, plain rude. No one wants a bad apple. Be nice, you fucker.
Solution: BE NICE. YOU FUCKER. Have some class. Learn a little suave. You get more with honey than you do with vinegar babe. Believe me. Ask questions, be vivid and warm. Inviting and trusting...A great tip is to meet somewhere like a coffee shop so you aren't committed to a full meal and possibly dessert if you don't like the person. Coffee/Tea is short and sweet and can absolutely turn into dinner if you feel comfortable doing so. Its public and you can run away if you aren't feeling it! Just a useful tip.
6. NO SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
Problem: This might be a personal preference to me, but honestly five pictures and maybe a bio if you're lucky just isn't enough to me. I want to see who you fuck with, what you look like in videos, what our voice sounds like, what your tagged photos be lookin like, what your comments say, if your page is private or public and why, if you have an ex and how far back that was and if you are still together or not and why do you still have pictures if you aren't together (why do people do this?), if you go out a lot, honestly just to know your entire life before you tell me. So I can act like I don't know but I already know you went to Venice, Italy last year with your cousin. I follow your cousin too. I don't take my dating life lightly because I'm EXTREMELY picky with who I let around my energy, and of course my body if it comes down to that. So having some sort of window to look into your life since we didn't meet in person and you never know when you meet someone online, I want the security that you're real, and someone that id be interested in. And no, social media doesn't display everything, but it says a lot about someone. I should know better than to fuck with someone these days that says that they don't have a Facebook, an IG, a Snapchat, a Twitter... Like, thats fucking weird. Are you even human? Are you a felon? Are you REAL?! 100% catfish if a cute dude has pictures with IG filters and no IG. BLOCKED IMMEDIATELY.
Solution: Just put your Instagram bro. Make it easier for everyone. kthx.
7. NO QUALITY PHOTOS/NOT ENOUGH PHOTOS
Problem: Some people are technologically challenged, and thats ok. But if you're going to take the time to build a bumble or tinder account, at least learn how to upload photos dude. And clear, well lit, quality photos. You should have a smart phone, and you got sunlight. SO USE IT.
Solution: Grab photos from family get togethers, selfies, friend outings, snapchat even! Just something that can show who you are from the outside. No one is going to look at a pic of you dabbing in the dark and be like, ZAMMMNNN ZADDYYYYY WHO IS YOUUUUU. Ask a friend to help you man. It won't kill you.
8. STUPID BUT NECESSARY: YOUR HEIGHT
Problem: I know I know. But let me explain. Im 5'9". And I have a bit of a pet peeve when a man is shorter than me. I like to where very high heels which sometimes puts me above 6' tall, and no mans short man syndrome is going to stop me. So my usual preference is at least 5'11" or taller. I don't normally have an issue coming across short guys because if we match or meet in person, its usually specified before we get too deep that they're at the preferred height, but I do have an issue with coming across profiles of men that seem taller, then aren't tall AT ALL. I usually feel really bad, but I'm a solid chick. I need some substance in a man, and I want to be handled. I can't have a dude shorter than me trying to throw me around and walk with me under his arm. Its weird.
Solution: Don't be shy, and be honest! Post your height even if you're fun sized. It will save you some embarrassment. Guaranteed.
So I hope you can relate and take something from this post! If you agreed at all with anything I said, SHARE it! Comment below your opinions and thoughts! I will be doing another post about this topic soon, because there is so much more surrounding this topic that some people just need to hear. Happy dating and don't be silly, wrap your willy! #Trojan #StaySTDfree #gettested
Chey Mina xo